Bulletproof Handkerchief Protects A Gentleman’s Heart

There comes a time in every TV series when you know the show is desperately fighting cancelation. No, it’s not the episode where the main character meets their doppelgänger (although that is a good indication). It’s the one where the hero is saved from a deadly bullet to the heart by a cigarette-case/book/cellphone luckily placed in the breast-pocket.

As ever, when a home-made solution becomes well-known, it is quickly commoditized, and the The Damned is just such a product. The Damned is a bulletproof pocket handkerchief designed to protect the heart of the gentleman from well-aimed or wayward projectiles. The 270 x 270mm (10.6-inch) square woven from “ballistic strength aramid fiber”, a material similar to Kevlar. But can a small fold of fabric really stop a bullet? From the blurb:

If a gun is aimed at you, fired, and the slug hits you, you will be hurt despite the properties of the square; The impact of the projectile itself is likely to fracture, crack or break your bones bones and bruise you. According to the specifications of the textile, a ballistic projectile such as a bullet will not pass through thirty two layers of this material. We take NO responsibility for those who feel compelled to test the endurance or resistance of the textile in any way.

We certainly won’t be calling this one in for a Gadget Lab review. Not through fear, you understand. No, we don’t need it because we already know a foolproof way to protect a gentleman’s heart: Stay away from girls. €95 ($137).